October 6, 2012 § Leave a Comment
A fancy yogurt brand opened a storefront recently, offering to swirl various toppings into tangy white dairy. I tried the peanut butter/jelly/grapes combo for lunch and instead of enjoying my quasi meal with a magazine, could not keep my ears from picking up the following gems. I am worried about the state of urban humanity if this is becoming acceptable ‘tude in a place that serves cultures from a counter:
- “This looks like the yogurt version of Pinkberry. Is that what this is? Are you related to Pinkberry?”
- “I have the peach flavor for breakfast every morning but you only have the plain. I’ll need to see nutrition information before I can make a decision.”
- “If I take a photo of my yogurt and post it on Instagram, do you have someone who will like it?”
I pray for thee.
October 5, 2012 § Leave a Comment
You are the man. Not only do you put on a great show, you build the venue, throw in your own restaurant, front for the liquor license and own a teeny tiny fraction of the home team. You are a diversified conglomerate and manage to come off as just a decent guy who hustled. And I totes buy you believe that I and every wahoo in the place has “genius level talent.” I just walked out thinking, wow, I wish that guy well/I need to get my *ss in gear and start building my empire.
October 3, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Jim Lehrer’s intro was more inspiring about the electoral process than the actual “debate.” I want to jump through the television and defend his structure – “He said you get two minutes! He says you have to be specific and stay on topic!”
Two Harvard educated millionaires and they can’t even engage in a constructive, direct manner beyond glancing at each other with pitying grins.
This isn’t a debate, it’s a televised reading of talking points written by 28 year old speech writers and balding policy wonks. There will be no “Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy” triumphs tonight. Tragic.
October 2, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Suck it up, throw down your Amex and pay for the birthday dinner over which you have no control. I have wasted incredible energy whining about the cost of celebratory events. In the end, you won’t really miss that extra $50 and your friend will, legit, remember you as the person who put them ahead.
They key is to ensure that when your sacred day rolls around, an appropriate event is planned and bankrolled. One for one, no exceptions.
September 29, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I was out with a friend tonight, having a beer and observing the college game on the TV, brought up the recent NFL referee drama. The blank look on her face was exactly the one I work hard never to display. “Wait, what?”
Beyond the protective confines of college, there is little excuse for not knowing what’s going on in the world, including the wide one of sports. Literally, checking the front page of the section and perusing the box scores once a week ensure you can offer a single intelligent comment when your colleges/boss/guys at the table next to you mention Sunday’s match-ups. Just this week, a dude at work tried to trip me up by asking me to name three players on my hometown baseball team – not only did I name them, I named their positions and the fact that one has spent most of the season on the DL. I do not anticipate any future snappy comments from the questioning gentleman.
Do yourself a favor, ladies: know your sports. Let’s up the ante.