No, You Are Not Invited

October 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

Get over the fact that you will be excluded from certain things in life.

I was out the other night with a college friend and told her about an event I’m organizing for alumni of a group of particular high schools. Her response, clearly peeved she didn’t get an invite: “But I know people who went there; my sister went there. You’re just being unfair and exclusive.” Yes, I am being exclusive. Deal with it.

Where you grew up, what school you attended, who you know, who you marry, where you live, what charities you support, your religion, your age – life is full of designations and self selected sub groups. It has little to do with a pecking order – if you aren’t 55, you don’t qualify for the AARP discount and if you aren’t Jewish you can’t have a bar mitzvah.

Very little is all inclusive and that isn’t a bad thing – shared traits are what bring strangers together. I’d so much rather go to a cocktail party where everyone is there because they grew up in the Midwest or worked at a failed start-up than show up to one where I don’t know a single person and have to work up a) the nerve and b) the wit to approach a stranger with a zingy yet generic intro. It is literally everyone’s social nightmare. Let’s try to make the game easier rather than harder, shall we?


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